So today I was going through my emails and noticed that HE wrote me. It wasn't completely nasty but it was definitely dismissive. apparently when I sent the pictures out to my friends it was a funny picture of this:
< Now I met another M- last year and we are friends we send each other mail and whatnot. So I accidentally sent this picture to the guy who once made me want to kill myself last year. He sent me this email a couple of hours ago and I quote: "Why do you keep sending me things? You know I don't respond to it. I thought you weren't interested anymore. I apologize for calling you names and all but this can't keep happening. Please stop stalking me and sending me messages. The damage has been done."
Stalking? Does he not know what stalking is? Stalking is when someone follows you places, calls your house, goes to your place of business. After this email I sent him a detailed email saying how I felt he was hurtful for no reason. I am over it this dumbness, this is the last blog I'll ever write of him. He is depleted from my mind. I have too much going on with School and trying to get crazy akin out of my life I don't have time for put downs or any type of nonsense. He completely upset me when I didn't even do anything to deserve that. I did try to be a good friend and show him support. But sometimes some people are just plain evil and are not good individuals and don't deserve another person's kindness. I did try, you know? I guess he just doesn't like me, and there is nothing I can do. We meet people in our lives who just rather be nasty and coldhearted even though consciously we know its wrong but nothing can fix it. I got the help I needed as a child through Therapy and know what is wrong with me psychologically. I have mood disorder like happy, sad, hyper kinda thing. And stems from a mother who was antisocial and made sure I was too. When you are picked on as a kid you tend to shy away and develop disorders because socially you weren't accepted as one of the girls. Not that I give a shit. But somehow it effected me so now I am just emotionally insecure. I guess I could back for some more therapy and learning how to pull away from those who have the potential to trigger my emotional outbreaks. Like he^^^^^ No good. If he was a good man he would've been straightforward and genuine. None of that, very dismissive, cocky, know- it- all -type of dude who thinks nothing of anyone and all highly of himself. Surprisingly he is a "Coptic Christian" with demonic values. His own family is judgmental of other races and Americans, why did they bother coming to America so they can taint our society with their tactics and "judgementive" objectives? I have no interest in that, but I do have passion for open ideas and love.
However, I am through with caring anymore because if I do this man will have power over my heart and my mind. He will not win. Stalking. what a harsh word. Leos and their typical arrogance.
Akin just gets on my nerves every time he is in my presence, I want to tell him to go away. We don't see each other every day and for that I am grateful. I don't find him physically attractive. He just let himself go. I made a video for me to see and know the reality of things. He needs to be by himself and figure out where he wants to go. I seem to make men obsessed when they do get involved. I tried to socialize with him but nothing we talk about is worth conversing. He just throws opinions around like it is the truth and anything else is voided. Why can two people have ideas that differentiate from each other? And maybe view the opinions and ideas as a possible theoretic view?
At one point akin was a good looking man. He maybe weighs about 110lbs. Used to be 220lbs I like bigger guys he was incredible in bed loved his cockiness and confidence used to have a car a job now he is just THERE. not mentally he looks like someone you see at a narcotic clinic, or at a homeless shelter or even at a mental institution.
I know now he will never change, nothing he does will ever get better. I just want to drink again because all this shit is driving me nuts. I am going to NYC for a few days I need a break. I can't do this anymore. Fuck kids, fuck marriage, fuck Christians, fuck you.
I am going to smoke a fat blunt. I know the real deal. I've been places. nigga, have you? probably not.
Stalking? Does he not know what stalking is? Stalking is when someone follows you places, calls your house, goes to your place of business. After this email I sent him a detailed email saying how I felt he was hurtful for no reason. I am over it this dumbness, this is the last blog I'll ever write of him. He is depleted from my mind. I have too much going on with School and trying to get crazy akin out of my life I don't have time for put downs or any type of nonsense. He completely upset me when I didn't even do anything to deserve that. I did try to be a good friend and show him support. But sometimes some people are just plain evil and are not good individuals and don't deserve another person's kindness. I did try, you know? I guess he just doesn't like me, and there is nothing I can do. We meet people in our lives who just rather be nasty and coldhearted even though consciously we know its wrong but nothing can fix it. I got the help I needed as a child through Therapy and know what is wrong with me psychologically. I have mood disorder like happy, sad, hyper kinda thing. And stems from a mother who was antisocial and made sure I was too. When you are picked on as a kid you tend to shy away and develop disorders because socially you weren't accepted as one of the girls. Not that I give a shit. But somehow it effected me so now I am just emotionally insecure. I guess I could back for some more therapy and learning how to pull away from those who have the potential to trigger my emotional outbreaks. Like he^^^^^ No good. If he was a good man he would've been straightforward and genuine. None of that, very dismissive, cocky, know- it- all -type of dude who thinks nothing of anyone and all highly of himself. Surprisingly he is a "Coptic Christian" with demonic values. His own family is judgmental of other races and Americans, why did they bother coming to America so they can taint our society with their tactics and "judgementive" objectives? I have no interest in that, but I do have passion for open ideas and love.
However, I am through with caring anymore because if I do this man will have power over my heart and my mind. He will not win. Stalking. what a harsh word. Leos and their typical arrogance.
Akin just gets on my nerves every time he is in my presence, I want to tell him to go away. We don't see each other every day and for that I am grateful. I don't find him physically attractive. He just let himself go. I made a video for me to see and know the reality of things. He needs to be by himself and figure out where he wants to go. I seem to make men obsessed when they do get involved. I tried to socialize with him but nothing we talk about is worth conversing. He just throws opinions around like it is the truth and anything else is voided. Why can two people have ideas that differentiate from each other? And maybe view the opinions and ideas as a possible theoretic view?
At one point akin was a good looking man. He maybe weighs about 110lbs. Used to be 220lbs I like bigger guys he was incredible in bed loved his cockiness and confidence used to have a car a job now he is just THERE. not mentally he looks like someone you see at a narcotic clinic, or at a homeless shelter or even at a mental institution.
I know now he will never change, nothing he does will ever get better. I just want to drink again because all this shit is driving me nuts. I am going to NYC for a few days I need a break. I can't do this anymore. Fuck kids, fuck marriage, fuck Christians, fuck you.
I am going to smoke a fat blunt. I know the real deal. I've been places. nigga, have you? probably not.
